Running Harder

“That’s it I don’t know what time I will reach the finish line but I will reach it, I know you have a flight to catch tonight, I will just call when I finish”. Those were my words to Jonel Mendoza as I cross the 50KM checkpoint with just minutes to spare before the mandatory cut-off. Officially I was the last person to reach the half way mark. I had 54.5Km more to go but I knew I was spent. Coming to the race I participated in 2 previous trail ultra marathons in a span of 14 days. I knew 100Km was daunting challenge not to be taken lightly but the inner fire in me had me at the starting line. Next check point would be at 60KM. The sun was going up in full force with the heat bearing down on me. A faithful race official followed me speeding ahead every five kilometers. He would prod and encourage me to the next point. He was with me almost from the start. At about 11AM I realized I was on my own I did not see any support crew, water station or checkpoint at all for the last few hours. I elected to run this race without a dedicated support crew and yes the race had to move on without me… If I was going to finish this I was going to deep down dip into myself to get this race done. I had to race smart for it was going to be a long and empty road for me to traverse. I felt my body temperature build to high levels. As I passed by a sari-sari store a man was selling rice and viands. I decided to grab lunch. I had rice and “ balbacua “ (Cebuano stew/soup of cow skin), 3 bottles of water and praised to the good distributor of Gatorade of having their products this far out. But it was the glorious ice that they sold at 1 peso that was gold. If I was told that would sell at 1USD each I would gladly forked out my money. I then dropped the ice to my hydration pack, used it to cool off my head gear and clothes for the scorching sun in that Saturday afternoon. Just my luck I forgot to bring with me my sunblock so I expected to have the raccoon look on my face by the end of the race. I, then saw the race marshal after 2 to 3 hours with my solitude run-walk journey, he checked up on me and asked if I ate already. I said I was ok and then he speed off to Danao City where I told him I would meet up. That was the last time I saw him. I really tried to run but my feet refuse to listen. I then told it to walk it reluctant did I literally moved at a snail pace. I think if there was a snail there it would have beaten me to the finish line. I had to accept that I would be running this alone. That I will not see any familiar face till the finish line . But with computation I did mentally, I knew even that it will be a long shot if someone would be there at the ungodly hour. Money that I had needed to be rationed since I have to buy my own supplies for the rest of the race. By at the end of the race I was left only with coins. I took breaks every hour finding a waiting shed or even just a patch of ground underneath the tree to provide relief under the unbearable sun. I would take off my shoes massage my feet which became hot to touch not only because of the sun’s powerful rays but the petroleum jelly lathered 12 hours ago and had evaporated leaving my foot to rub against my socks and shoes. I knew I was in danger of having blister to my blisters that could end my race. I would sipped my water, took a bite and do self massage as bystanders would look at me like a refugee. This would be my hourly routine. This time self doubt, fear, disappointment would cross my mind. Should I go on ?Why? Why ? WHY finish it? I could think of a hundred reasons to stop but I held to one reason to finish it” because I believed I can and only I can define me.” Dusk was approaching when I neared Danao. I took a dinner break at one of the eatery that dotted the coast near the city hall. I partook of rice, “ Ngohiong” ( Cebuano Spring Roll) and beef soup. It was like the manna from heaven I slurped the hot soup down so fast that burned my tongue I could care less because I knew I had to finish, I had to eat. So after eating filling my water and resting I rangered on. It was at the stretch of Compostela that I reached my rock bottom. It was dark, lonely and negative thoughts that came in trickles cascaded to a torrent. Every time I would see an air-con bus, I would be filled with the longing of stopping it, enjoy the cocoon of air-con cool air, soft seat and a leisure ride to Cebu City, I refuse to fail however this continued to taunt me nonstop to the point of almost driving me mad, so I decided that every time I would see a headlight I would simply bow my head down to the ground not to depressed myself further. I knew if I just collapsed on a corner and called for help, throngs of running group and friends would rush and carry me off to the city. But even that became more an impossibility as I was reminded by my phone led flashing orange, a warning of a low battery status. If there was time I was going to quit this was it. But I remember a motivational line it said “ You are stronger then you think you are” coupled by a line a remember in a book about Navy Seal selection “It’s not the gazelles that finish hell week it’s that last guy struggling to finish, who never gave up no matter what stack against them those are the guys who become Seals” With those thoughts I would propped up myself up and continue on. I went over my checklist mental especially my rule if it’s still safe to race without life or death situations to face or a pain limited below the waist. I persisted. I endured. I live. I never ran an ultra marathon with a MP3 player, I was left with running songs in my mind. I played mind games to entertain myself. About 8PM I knew that I would cross the finish line without any fanfare much less people to see me finish. I knew that everyone was tired from the days event. I would not want them to stay in my behalf. Their time and resource which they volunteered whole heartedly to the runners was beyond generosity therefore I could not ask for more. I would even lie to send them home. Nearing Consolacion heading to Mandaue City my foot gave in, I had 13 points of blister and the foot muscles were in a spasm from the day’s effort . The pain was so much that I had to take a pain reliever to alleviate that condition. All was a blur, I was moving on like an extra zombie from the TV series Walking Dead only difference they were focused on eating brains I was focused on crossing the line. A motorcycle rider called out to me “Sir Garry” “ Are you ok?” “Yes” “ Come on my motorcycle and I will bring you to the city” “ Thanks but I will finished this” He left me not know he called ahead to UNGO – Team Waypak Runners that there was still one more runner heading towards the finish line in the embrace of the night’s darkness. Then text from UNGO – TWR Snails asking me if I wanted to be picked up I said” no”. They said fellow UNGO Runner Ledoy Mendoza called them up saying that I was still on the road and would need some company when I past thru the pier area. I will finish what I started I texted back. They told me that the pier area was very dangerous at night with hold ups happening as regular as the daily moonrise. I thought to myself if some did held me up I would kindly ask him to take everything but leave me my shoes and race bib so I can officially finish the race. Then they came at Mandaue City the near the University like a cavalry to rescue of the beleaguered outpost being overrun by the enemy. A silver stainless jeepney looked like it was heaven sent. They pour out to meet me. They were the 1st group of familiar faces I have seen for the last 10 hours of my solitude. They supplied me with cold water and Gatorade and pushed me on the last few kilometers . Juliet Amazona “ AmaZOOM “ was cheering me on, it was a turn of table of sorts when I was the one cheering her on to the finish of her maiden 1st marathon and ultramarathon only months before, that meant a lot to hear someone else voice since my brain was already exhausted to cheer me. They were like Secret Service tailing me. Anyone who came near me was greeted with a high beam of the jeep’s headlight like trying to say “mess with this guy in front of us and we will run you down.” For that I was so thankful that they had my back. I fought for every inch, to every meter, to every kilometer. It was nearing midnight and realized that I was on my feet for 24 hours already. I could see the glow of the lights coming from Fort San Pedro. I summed all my energy, If I was going to finish this I will finish it on empty and gave it all . I trotted to the finish line with the park security half amazed of a runner so slow that it was already another day when he arrived. The park was empty and devoid of the festivities that happened hours before but to me it was Nirvana. The Snails were cheering me on, James Go was out sprinting me to get my picture. I ran like my life depended on it. Then after 24hours 31 mins 32 seconds I stopped. “Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go “ - TS Elliot

After 100KM Trail  in Malaysia , the Habagat Ultra Trail 50KM and Cebu Century Challenge 100Km plus 4Km. I have logged more miles then my car in a span of 14 days.

As it closes near , fear closes in

But I will face it

off to a light 5k run , i felt great but I felt like a knot in my muscle behind my right knee. Hope it does not turn to something bad I have 2 big runs to do before the year ends.